February 2012
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Another Dinosaur Dream
This time I had to murder an ostrich because it was drawing too much attention to our group.
We couldn’t afford the Gigantosaurus tracking our location…we had a baby and two toddlers with us.
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Can someone please explain all the adoration for...
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Life Advice:
the only way to drink coffee on your days off is to add whiskey
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To be honest with you...
I’m relatively positive I function better as a drunk than I do as a sober human being.
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Attention people...
wanderlustandcoffee:
First person to bring me some of this will receive a complimentary high-five and a mixed CD. Act now, I’ll be waiting over here.
metaljamie replied to your photo:I’m dying. Or I have a sore throat and am being…
BACON AND CHEESE WHISKEY SOUP! I’m pretty sure that’s a real thing. I’m pretty sure it would be amazing.
I just had this A+ idea.
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Things I've learned about myself today:
I’m always game for a good mystery
I’m completely freaked out/terrified of identical twins
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Just another day.
It’s just a day with no significant meaning. Nothing different or exciting will happen to make it more memorable. It’s just another day of existence in this world.
And yet, it feels strange. Foreign really. Like I’m spending the day looking at my life through the eyes of another.
Who is this girl?
What is she drinking?
What is she thinking? Why does she continue stare...
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frosthammer asked: I always wondered. Have you just blatantly told Doug to never propose to you, or would you even be open to the idea if he did? I just don't get your anti-marriage stance if not for religious reasons?
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Positive Ways to Start Your Morning:
Spill ice on floor
Forget about ice
Step on ice
Have a heart attack because the sound convinces you you broke some vital body part on yourself/another human/some strange animal that had no way of getting in said area but that noiseeeee
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I live on the second floor of a building. I am the...
I am completely alone.
And yet here I am, listening to wind chimes outside my window and wondering…where the fuck did that come from?
Furthermore, have they always been there? Has every windy night been accompanied by the sound of wind chimes and they’ve just gone unnoticed? Am I going completely insane?
January 2012
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“I’m a pretty wild person. And I don’t mean like whoaaa man. smash...”
– Doug, the man that is in bed by 10 every night
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I need someone to set up a healthy diet system for...
This entire month has just been burritos, tacos, pizza, and sushi and I’m pretty sure my body is going to stop running soon because I haven’t ate a healthy meal in about two months. Which, in theory sounds amazing. In reality my body is telling me I’m a complete asshole.
What are some of your healthy weekly meals?
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You never quite realize how ordinary you or your...
have been until you’re filing information for grants and scholarships.
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GOOD MORNING, BABIES.
Doug: GROUP HUGGG!
Me: No.
Others: GET HER!
Me: Please. No.
*three people rush towards me*
Me: NOOOOOOOOO
*deathgrips around my body*
Me: ...I don't like this.
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Things I've done with my Saturday night:
drank a glass of water
knitted two hats
filed my taxes
applied for financial aid
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On friendship and surviving in the world
I want to live in a world of understanding human beings.
So often is everyone willing to point a finger, to tell someone they’re wrong. We always insist that our way of thinking is better, more logical. Our solutions far surpass anything the person on the receiving end could ever fathom.
I’m right and you’re wrong. It’s that simple.
It’s also the worst,...
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Conversations with Customers
Him: I saw your doppelganger last weekend!
Me: Oh really?
Him: I was having dinner with my family at a restaurant in NYC and in walks this girl that looks exactly like you.
Me: Oh?
Him: Yeah! Like, spot on. I pointed her out to my wife and was like, "that looks exactly like Jamie, right?" Everyone at the table just couldn't believe it.
Him: She was even scowling just like you do!
Me: ....
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Things to do 3 minutes before having to leave for...
put on shoes
put on coat
try to shove an entire sushi roll in your mouth
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Some things you should know:
I really don’t enjoy being touched by people I have not allowed into my inner circle
The only way someone will know if they’re in my inner circle is if I allow them to hug me without being super awkward about it
I want to learn everything I possibly can in this lifetime
I’m going back to school to major in museum studies and space exploration
I imagine that will change a...
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WatchI’m pretty sure I’m the only person who spends an hour of their off time watching videos on how to pour latte art and pull the perfect shot.
But it’s just so beautiful.
;__;
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